牛逼◆英文GO...讓你立馬秒懂???穿過大謊言的迷霧:如何真正掌控自我


如何學好英文發音




改變想法,就是改變你的世界。


——諾曼· 文森特· 皮爾博士


想法可以是出色的仆人,也可能變成頤指氣使的主人。


——或為蘇格拉底


或許你還記得,我寫博客的主題都是領導力。每一位成長中的領導者都不能忽視自我提升和自我認知。這兩點都是自控能力的具體內容。所謂的“自控能力”到底是什麼?在這篇文章裡,我會解釋什麼叫自控能力,詳細說明所謂的“大謊言”是什麼,然後提供一些避開謊言陷阱的關鍵提示,以及實現自我控制的途徑。


什麼是自控能力


我建議讀者們解放思想,重新認識自控能力——因為可能跟你以前想的不一樣。一般來說,人們容易把自控與多年苦練培養出來的技巧聯系起來。所以一提到自控,就會說起運動健將、音樂大師、科學大牛、藝術巨匠、經商達人等等例子。


但在剛剛提到的這些領域裡,自控都是經年累月刻苦練習之後的自然結果。花上一萬小時就差不多瞭。一萬小時的說法來自於馬爾科姆· 格拉德威爾所著的《異類:不一樣的成功啟示錄》,書中主要探討瞭如何能夠從剛剛“夠格”變成為某一領域裡的“專傢”。例如,想充分掌握拉小提琴的技巧就要訓練一萬個小時。不過這裡的訓練可不是隨隨便便的,而是專註並且充滿熱情的反復練習。訓練時保持認真的心態跟花費時間累計一萬個小時同樣重要。


但比技能訓練更重要的是練習自我控制能力,也就是思想掌控。我認為這才是最重要的能力,因為如果能夠控制思想,再想控制其他方面就易如反掌瞭。控制思想不是要分辨思想方式正確與否,然後隻用“正確”和有用的思想,最重要的是充分挖掘潛能。


要掌控思想,就要先搞清楚思想的本質,搞清楚我們究竟是思想的奴隸還是主人。很多人不知不覺就變成瞭思想的奴隸,終身受思想擺佈而且從未意識到。最壞的思想我稱之為“大謊言”。如果沒法揭露大謊言的真相並且徹底拋棄,實現自我控制就是一個遙不可及的夢。具體要怎樣做才能控制思想呢,此處按下不表。首先要接受一點,最重要的就是掌握思想的主動權,否則根本無法實現真正的自我控制。


揭秘“大謊言”


那麼,“大謊言”到底是什麼?簡而言之,就是人們在五歲之前就形成的核心觀念。“大謊言”有很多的表現形式,但最常見的就是“我有問題”或“我不夠好”,再或“我的能力不足,還需要提高自己”。


如果誠實地面對自己,你就會發現這些都是謊言。但很多人,事實上是大多數人都相信這是事實。結果是一輩子的大多數時間都在努力“證明”自己是優秀的,勝任工作的,有能力的,有價值的,可愛的,等等。想起來瞭嗎,一切的源頭不過是一個謊言,為什麼人們還要花費這麼多的精力去反駁?因為他們深深相信這個謊言,已經到瞭潛意識的層面,漸漸地大傢都忘記瞭謊言的存在。


所以你會問,如果我認為自己愛犯錯,能力不足,一文不值,錯漏百出……這些都是謊言,那什麼是真的?很高興你問瞭。


真相是,每個人都有無窮的能量。每個人從出生起就是完美的,善良、高貴,擁有控制自我的一切條件。


其實每個人都享受著宇宙慷慨贈予的免費禮物,自始至終都擁有完整的、寶貴的自我。但是一旦接受瞭謊言,人類就會不知不覺地拋棄自己的能力,而且很難再記起。


可以把大謊言看作是“思想的源泉”,因為謊言棲居在意識深處。意識中偶爾會冒出想法,但很大一部分都是謊言的產物。同時,思想看起來非常讓人信服,而且無比真實,很少會讓人抗拒。我們會認為腦中的想法體現瞭真實的內心,實際上並不是。我們看起來是產生思想的人,但在徹底拋棄謊言之前隻能說我們臣服於思想。


一切都始於很久之前的無心之失,從此人們困在瞭大謊言的陷阱裡,窮盡一生與之對抗,但是就像陷在流沙裡一樣,越掙紮就陷得越深。要是發現給自己挖瞭個坑,最好的應對之策就是別再繼續挖。但令人驚訝的是,在沒有意識到大謊言在後臺操控(就像電腦裡的操作系統一樣)之前,人們會不遺餘力地證明謊言是正確的,證明事實上就是無法勝任,總想著“調整”自己,卻沒怎麼花工夫來應付真正的問題:戳穿謊言。


好消息是:說到底,大謊言隻是一縷想法、一個概念、一種信念,隻有抽象的存在而且自身並沒有力量,謊言的力量都是人類給的。跟對待所有的思想一樣,人們可以拒絕謊言、棄之如敝履,代之以更積極的想法。最好的消息就是,不管是現在還是過去,你都沒有問題。宇宙不會孕育廢物。


記住這一招:頭腦中存在各種形式的大謊言,看起來都非常真實。人們被愚弄太久,所以謊言似乎成瞭事實。看到這裡,如果你願意練習集中精神,就可以試著掌控自己的思想,擺脫錯誤想法,努力把註意力放在有益的想法上,脫離大謊言的影響。


實現自我掌控之路。要重新控制註意力,可以試試下面三個練習方法。當然瞭,要付諸實踐隻能靠你自己。可能會有想法冒出來說“別浪費時間瞭”,或是“可能會失敗吧”,或是“現在才開始太晚瞭”。這些都是大謊言派來的幹擾。我的建議是:別相信那些鬼話,它們不過都是大謊言身邊跟班的小謊言。


第一項練習:控制情緒


有個說法是“生活不過是日日感受所思所想”。意思是,接受瞭負面想法後身體就會產生相關反應,即“負面情緒”。想法會推動身體產生情緒。


人們通常會“發現”自己情緒不佳,轉而認為之所以心情差是命不好,都是別人的錯。事實上,情緒好不好百分之百都是因為自己。隻要改變想法,情緒自然就會變好。當然,關鍵就是要瞭解這點。


要練習情緒控制,最簡單的辦法就是積攢感激之情。每天早上拿著日記本安靜地坐一會,寫下值得感激的所有事情:健康、傢庭、工作、生活、各種能力等等。每一條都認真地想一會,深刻地體會擁有這一切是多麼值得感激。不要隻是把寫下的念出來,要用心感受。


每天要堅持練習,情緒不好的時候,例如生氣、沮喪,自怨自艾的時候也可以隨時復習。你有沒有東西吃?有沒有水喝?有沒有空氣呼吸?心肺是不是都在正常工作?你是不是雙腿健全,想去哪就去哪,有雙眼能看盡繁華,雙耳能享受天籟,還能聽見孩子的話語?很多人都做不到這些。每天都練習“感恩心態”,你會發現早已不見的集中的註意力將回到身邊。你又能選擇如何去感覺,不會再怨天尤人,心中隻有基於自知的掌控。


第二項練習:學會“由內而外地”生活


很多人都覺得“總是碰到事”,慢慢形成瞭固定的印象。確實,人活在世總會遇到點事,但如何應對卻是因為如何面對“發生瞭什麼”,與事情本身沒有多大關系。除瞭自己沒有旁人能夠強迫你這樣感覺那樣感覺,但在現實當中確實經常聽到有人把情緒怪罪到別人的頭上,比如“她惹我生氣的”,“他讓我自慚形穢”。再說一遍,事實上都是大謊言在作祟,根本原因是你早已相信自己能力不足,命又不好,才給瞭別人機會來左右你的感受。但不是你想的那樣!生活應該“由內而外地”感受,而不是反過來。


很多孩子小時候都有玩偶、泰迪熊或是“安全毯”,仿佛這些東西能夠提供安慰、安全感和快樂。你小時候有麼?問題來瞭,你真覺得被愛、安全感、快樂的感覺和精力是來自於沒有生命的小玩偶或泰迪熊麼?當然不是!這些美好的感覺都是來自於你的內心,你隻是覺得美好的感覺來自於外物罷瞭。同理,不開心時也習慣於怪罪他人或者是時運不濟。有時人們甚至以為真有什麼神奇的人能夠“讓人”開心起來。


練習其實很簡單。拿出一張空白的紙,在中間畫一條豎線。左邊畫一個人,右邊畫一個玩偶或泰迪熊。想象畫中的人感覺被愛、安全、開心、快樂。問問自己:“這個人內心的感覺跟泰迪熊有多少關系呢?”以後在開心或不開心的時候都想想這個練習。提醒自己這些感覺都是從內心產生的,不是外界強加的。提醒自己“感受所思所想”。


通過練習就能把註意力重新調整到情緒的源頭,不管是開心還是不開心,都要關註思想和由之催生的情緒。別再怪別人瞭,也別再怪命不好,最重要的就是別再把自己當成無力反抗的受害者。練習一段時間後就會習慣正確的思維方式。


第三項練習:“別以為想法決定瞭你是什麼樣的人”


記住:你是怎樣的人跟想法一點關系都沒有,你應該是清醒的掌控想法的自我。“你”是沉默的目擊者,你是真正的主人。下面有一項簡單的練習,在腦中或是紙上都能做,隨時隨地都可以做。


1. 想象一次跟別人,比如跟同事或者是伴侶之間不歡而散的談話。


2. 回想一下當時那些人具體說的話、語音語調、面部表情、身體語言,當然還有當時如何不開心。


3. 在腦中想象自己懸浮在半空中“旁觀”,看自己跟另外一個人談話。你能看見、聽見所有的事情,不同的隻是你沒在“自己的身體裡”,就是一種靈魂出竅的感覺,在想象中體會觀察那場談話。


4. 在日記本裡以第三人稱角度寫下“兩人之間的談話”,給雙方起個名字,比如A先生和B女士。寫寫兩個人的感受,推測兩人當時的感覺。寫下兩頁紙,通過紙面上的回顧來重溫當時的談話,一定要有作為旁觀者的距離感。要充分考慮雙方的立場,不要武斷下結論。


每天堅持練習,一定要用親身經歷當素材,每次花15分鐘。寫完之後仔細體會抽身旁觀的感覺,放棄以自己為中心的視角,試著完全從第三人的立場來觀察。我保證如果天天練的話,這項練習會很有用,你會從中獲得巨大的自我掌控力量。因為你會重新發現真實的自我。其中的好處我不想贅述,親自嘗試之後自然會明白。


掌握自控能力有什麼好處?


· 重獲自由的感覺,生命煥發活力


· 拋開大謊言,再也不用受之欺騙,而且謊言會看起來很可笑!


· 自知能力會隨著自我滿意程度的上升而提高


· 自信大為提高,會明白自己已經很好,沒有必要調整


· 意識到別人都在“由外而內地”生活,他們都相信周遭環境影響瞭內心感覺,也影響瞭機會,你可以為他們提供善意的幫助,讓他們知道你的觀點。


· 一旦明白瞭“生活不過是日日感受所思所想”,就不會再忘記


· 你會重新發現快樂並不是“目的地”或是終極目標,快樂隨時伴你同行,等待著你重新發現。之前獲得快樂的阻礙隻是思維方式。


· 你會明白生活中總有選擇:無論何時都可以選擇開心,面對大謊言時會知道如何應對。問題是你會怎麼選。


做這些練習在職場上有什麼幫助呢?很明顯,快樂、自信、又有自知之明的人在面臨業務上的挑戰時會更有創造性,也更有效率。他們是和善的同事、優秀的團隊成員、高效的合作方,因為他們從來對事不對人,做事擅長為他人考慮,充滿智慧,自控能力更是一流。換句話說,這樣的人會成為商業領袖。


擺脫謊言困擾一定要花一萬個小時嗎?不一定。每天早晚練習,堅持六周看看有什麼變化。我很期待聽到你們的經歷。多數人對這篇文章也就是看看算瞭,轉頭就忘。你會怎麼做?(財富中文網)


“Change your thoughts and you change your world.”


Dr. Norman Vincent Peale


“Thoughts can be wonderful servants but they make terrible masters.”


Attributed to Socrates


If you recall this is a blog about leadership. For every emerging leader there is an aspect of self-development and self-awareness that cannot be overlooked. This is the dimension of Personal Mastery. But what does “personal mastery” even mean? In this article I want to explore a definition of Personal Mastery, examine what I call “The Big Lie” and then look at some key steps that you can follow to move beyond the lie and find your own personal path to mastery.


Defining Personal Mastery


I’m going to suggest that you open your mind to a new understanding of personal mastery; it is probably different than what you thought. Most often when we think of ‘mastery’ we think of things like skills that we develop through years and years of patient practice. Usually when we talk about mastery, we think of things like sports, music, the sciences, the arts, business skills and similar examples.


Mastery in any of those areas is a by-product of steady, unrelenting practice, putting in the “ten thousand hours” as suggested by Malcolm Gladwell in his book “Outliers” which is a study of what makes people merely “successful” versus “masterful.” To master the violin, for example, you need to put in 10,000 hours of practice. But, not merely ‘practice’---practice with focused intention and passion. The mindset of the person practicing and the 10,000 hours are of equal importance.


But beyond the mastery of physical skills, there is another kind of mastery that is developed within oneself, the mastery of one’s thoughts. And for me, it is the supreme mastery because with mastery over one’s thoughts, any other form of mastery is going to be much easier. It isn’t about figuring out which thoughts are ‘right’ or which thoughts are ‘bad’ and then only entertaining ‘good’ thoughts, though that can be helpful. It’s about discovering the awesome power that lies hidden inside of yourself.


Mastery of thought begins with the understanding of the nature of thought and whether we are its’ servant or its’ master. The answer for most people is that they have unwittingly become the servant of their thoughts, enslaved by their own thinking, without being aware that this is so. The worst of these thoughts is what I call “The Big Lie.” Until one uncovers and discards The Big Lie, personal mastery is going to remain elusive, unattainable, a mere dream, out of reach. Regarding the “how to” of mastering our thinking, we will come back to that. For now, just be open to the idea that until we are masters of our own thoughts, we will be cut off from meaningful personal mastery.


Uncovering “The Big Lie”


So, what is “The Big Lie?” In short, it is a core belief that human beings agree to before they are five years old. It has many variations but the essence of The Big Lie is “Something is wrong with me” or “I am not good enough” or “I’m inadequate and so I have to prove myself.”


If you are honest with yourself, you know about this lie…and…many people, most people in fact, believe it is the truth. As a result they spend much of their life energy trying to ‘prove’ that they are good, adequate, capable, worthy, lovable, etc. But remember…it was a lie to begin with…so, why do people spend so much energy trying to disprove it? Because they believe it, deep down, at an unconscious level, and, over time have lost awareness of this belief.


So you will ask, if being wrong, inadequate, unworthy, incapable, flawed, defective…are all lies…then what is the truth? I’m glad you asked!


The truth is that each person is powerful beyond measure. Each person is already perfect at the moment of birth with all the goodness and worthiness and resources they will even need to achieve mastery in their lives.


They receive a free gift from the Universe: everyone is whole and valuable, and that never changes. But because of The Big Lie, they have unknowingly abdicated their power when they agreed with the lie, and then forgot about it.


You may think of The Big Lie as a “thought generator” because it lies in the core of your consciousness. From time to time, thoughts appear in your consciousness and a high percentage of them will be mirroring your big lie. At the same time, thoughts seem so compelling and real, you seldom challenge them. We actually think our thoughts are ‘who we are.’ No, they are not. We are the one who has the thought. But until we discard The Big Lie, it is more accurate to say “our thoughts have us.”


Through an innocent mistake, long ago, we have simply fallen into a trap of believing The Big Lie and as a result we spend our life energy struggling against it and the more we struggle, like being in quicksand, the deeper we sink. When you dig yourself into a hole…the best thing to do is to stop digging! But, amazingly, when we are not aware of The Big Lie operating in the background (like the OS of a computer) we will spend more energy proving it is true, proving that we are right about being inadequate, trying to ‘fix’ ourselves, and very little energy dealing with the real issue: getting rid of the lie!


Here’s the good news: in the end, The Big Lie is just a thought, a concept, a belief, and abstraction and has no power except the power you have loaned to it. Like any other thought, it can be, rejected and discarded and replaced with more useful thoughts of your choosing. The best news of course is that there is nothing wrong with you now and there never has been anything wrong with you. The Universe does not make junk.


Here’s the Catch: The Big Lie shows up in your thoughts in a myriad of forms that may seem ‘real’ unmasked to you because you have entertained the lie for so long, it seems like reality. Seeing this, you can take action to get on the path of personal mastery over your thoughts and false beliefs…if…you are willing to practice the art of attention…focusing your attention on thoughts that serve you instead of The Big Lie that enslaves you.


Your Personal Path to Mastery. Here are three exercises that anyone can practice to begin to regain personal control over their power of attention. Of course, its’ up to you to choose to do the work. And, your thoughts may tell you “Don’t waste your time” or “I’ll probably fail” or “It’s too late for me.” Those are examples of thoughts generated by The Big Lie. My advice: don’t believe them. They are all just small lies, generated by the Big Lie.


Exercise No.1: Mastering Your Emotional State.


There is a saying that “We are always living in the feeling of our thinking.” This means that, when we believe a negative thought, there is a reaction in our body and we experience a ‘negative’ emotion. Thoughts trigger emotional states in the body.


Usually we ‘find ourselves’ in an unwanted emotional state and then we blame our circumstances or other people for our unhappy feeling. The truth is, your emotional state is always 100% in your power to control. You just have to change the thought and your emotional state will change. And, of course you need to ‘see’ that this is so.


The easiest way to experience your power over your state is to learn to focus your attention on the feeling of Being Grateful. Sit down each morning with your journal and start listing everything you can think of that you can be grateful for: your health, your family, your job, your life, you abilities, etc. Then focus on them one at a time and really feel how grateful you are for each thing on your list. Not just ‘reading’ the words but experiencing the emotion of gratefulness inside your body.


Keep doing this every day and do it anytime when you ‘find yourself’ in a bad mood, feeling angry, frustration, self-pity, whatever. Do you have food to eat and water to drink? Do you have air to breathe? Are your lungs working? Your heart? Do you have legs to take you places, and eyes to see things and ears to hear music and the sound of your child’s voice? Many people do not. Practice “The Attitude of Gratitude” throughout the day and you will discover that the power of your attention that you abdicated will return to you. You will regain the power to choose how you feel, not based on ‘circumstances’ but based on your mastery over your own awareness.


Exercise No. 2: Learning to Experience Life “Inside-Out”


Most people still believe that “things happen to them” and then as a result, they feel a certain way. While it is true that “things happen,” how you feel is always a result of your own thought about “what happened” and never caused by the event itself. No one can “make you feel” this way or that way…though it is common to hear people blame others for their feelings “She made me angry” or “He made me feel small.” The truth, again, is that due to The Big Lie, you are ready to believe that you are inadequate, a victim of circumstances, and that other people can decide how you feel. It just isn’t so! Live is lived “from the inside-out” and not from “the outside-in.”


Most children when small have a doll or a Teddy Bear or a ‘security blanket’ that seems to bring them comfort, a sense of safety and happiness when they need it. Did you have something like that? So here’s a question: do you really think your feelings and experience of love, safety, happiness…came from an inanimate doll or Teddy Bear? Of course not! Those nice feelings were created by you, inside yourself…and then you ‘blamed’ the feelings on the object. In the same way, when we feel unhappy, we have the habit of ‘blaming’ other people or circumstances for our bad or unhappy feelings. We even believe that some magical person ‘out there’ can ‘make us’ happy.


This exercise is very simple. Just draw a vertical line down the middle of a blank page. On the left side, draw a person. On the right side, draw a doll or Teddy Bear. Imagine the person is feeling loved, safe, happy, joyful. Now ask yourself: “How likely is it that the person ‘received’ those feelings from the Teddy? Keep this experience in mind each time you ‘find yourself’ feeling unhappy feelings, or happy feelings. Remind yourself that the feelings came from inside of you, not from the outside. Remind yourself that “I am always living in the feeling of my thinking.”


By practicing this, you will be able to refocus your attention to the source of your unhappiness---or happiness---your own thoughts and the emotions they trigger. You can stop blaming others or blaming circumstances, and most importantly, you can stop feeling like a powerless victim. After a period of practice, this pattern will become automatic for you.


Exercise No. 3: “Don’t Believe Your Thoughts are Who You Are”


Remember: you are NOT your thoughts…you are the consciousness that observes your thoughts. “You” are the silent witness. You are the master. Here’s an easy exercise you can do, in your mind and on paper, anytime and anywhere.


1. Think of an unhappy conversation with another person, a colleague, spouse, etc.


2. Now re-imagine the words that were spoken by ‘those people’---what they said, their tone of voice, facial expression, body language and of course the feeling of unhappiness


3. In your mind’s eye, “see” those two people as if you were hovering 20 feet in the air above them and they are ‘way down there’ having the conversation. You can see and hear everything. What is different is that you are not ‘in your body’ but rather you are ‘dissociated’ from yourself and you have the experience (in your imagination) of observing “those people down there.”


4. Finally, in your journal, write about “those people” who had that conversation and do it in 3rd person. You will not use the word “I” at all. You can give them names like “Mr. A” and “Miss B.” Write about how “those people” were feeling and what “those people” must have been thinking. Write about two pages until you have captured the experience on paper and you can really feel some “distance” between you as the observer and that person “down there.” Begin to develop some compassion for ‘those people’ and let your harsh judgments drop away.


Do this every day with one recent personal experience only. Spend 15 minutes each time. After each writing notice how different it feels when you dissociate yourself from the situation, discard the “I” position and simply see and hear the situation as an observer. I promise you this is a powerful exercise and if you practice it daily, it will lead you to a great deal of personal power. Because you will rediscover who you really are. I can’t say a lot more about that because it is something you must choose to do.


What Can you Gain from Personal Mastery


· You can regain a sense of personal freedom and power in your life


· You will discard the Big Lie and never believe it again…it will seem ludicrous to you!


· Your personal self-awareness will continue to grow along with your personal satisfaction


· You will trust yourself deeply, knowing there is nothing that needs fixing


· You will realize that everyone you meet is living “outside-in”---believing that their circumstances cause their feelings and their possibilities, and you can use your awareness in compassionate ways to help them ‘see’ what you now see.


· Once you ‘see’ that you are “always living in the feeling of your thinking’ you won’t be able to ‘un-see’ it again


· You will rediscover that happiness is not a ‘destination’ or a goal…it has always been their inside of you, waiting for you to rediscover it. It was only your thinking that got in the way.


· And you will know that you always have a choice: you can be happy…or you can be ‘right’ about your Big Lie. Which will you choose.


So what’s the benefit of all this from a business perspective? Well I hope it is 100% obvious that happy, confident self-aware people are going to be more productive and more effective in meeting business challenges. And they are going to be better colleagues, team members, collaborators….because they are never going to take anything personally. Instead they will operate from a state of deep compassion, wisdom and…personal mastery. In other words, they will be leaders.



Will it take ten thousand hours? Not likely. Practice these exercises morning and night and in between for six weeks and experience the changes. I’ll be looking forward to hearing about what happens. Most people will simply read this article and forget about it. What will you do?





多益聽力解題技巧上 // TOEIC Listening Strategy Part 1 & 2


我想"Learning English傾國傾城(@口@)"我永遠都是你的插曲,但是我會用我僅有的雙手為你彈出最動人的旋律。...


海外研修- 維基百科,自由的百科全書

玩大陸 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()